Feel Like Losing It? Take an "I Am Worth it Moment"
When you feel strong feelings like anger, frustration, or sadness getting the best of you, take an "I am worth it moment."
Take a second and think. Try to use the detached, less emotional part of your mind.
Start by writing down unbiased facts about what's troubling you. To think clearly, use this idea: "Use only facts that would hold up in a court of law," says Duke University researcher Dr. Redford Williams. Write down the answers to these questions.
- Is this matter important to me?
- Is what I am feeling and/or thinking correct to the situation?
- Can this situation be changed in a positive way?
- When I balance my needs and those of others, is taking action worth it?
Honest answers to these questions will help you respond more usefully and reduce stress.
"Maintaining control of strong feelings and emotions is the critical component. When feeling 'angry', try to uncover the feeling beneath the anger such as embarrassment, frustration, hurt or betrayal," advises Brenda M. Szalka L.M.S.W., Manager of the Employee Assistance Program for Henry Ford Health System.
"Defining the 'root of the issue' helps you gain a better understanding of the situation and the reasons you might feel the way you do. Practicing this will help you become more 'Emotionally Intelligent' (EI). EI refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Most researchers agree that individuals are born with general EI that determines their potential for learning and that this 'inborn characteristic' can be strengthened and developed over time," adds Brenda.
A number of testing instruments have been developed to measure emotional intelligence and can found on the internet including this Emotional Intelligence Test.
Take a moment to learn more about being emotionally intelligent and maintaining control of your emotions because... you ARE worth it!